invictus’ den

I thought of Aning, that child, greasy in tattered clothes,

                  by the window she looks, in search for her dreams.

I thought of Nong Iko, that farmer under the sun’s burning heat,

                  toiling a land he does not own, wondering when will it be his.

I thought of Nang Lisia, that mother rummaging the house all day through,

                  with brawling stomach, craving for a crux in her routine.

I thought of Mr. Linoleum, that braggart politician who haven’t surpass his promises, 

                   he’s on his way again, in loud speakers around town.

I thought of Junjun, that student who naps at his table studying,

                   if not waiting for his drunk brother to arrive.

I thought of Elsa, that woman crazy over love and craving to fill her void,

                   she would do everything for someone to call her own.

I thought of Adreil, that yuppie who knows nothing more than Starbucks,

                    he could have made the day of that beggar by the roadside.

I thought of countless figures of Sisyphus who still struggles

                    despite sweat as the only outcome.

I thought of my own wasted dreams and unguided passion,

                   when will ever come the time?

I thought of a green meadow where I could set my eyes toward a beautiful view,

                   there i could see butterflies, and flowers, and birds on a freedom flight.

I thought of myself on a mountaintop.

                   Wheew!!!

Nothing more needed to say in such a scenic view!!!

I thought of these… and more….

                   …when I am in the above title!

May 12, ‘07 "there are memories that stays with you forever. So always aim for what is full of life, you will smile when they lurk behind you."

Apr. 30, ‘07 "whoever said that it can never be WHATEVER it is… well, i did it in GUIMARAS!!! hehe"

Apr. 24, ‘07 "I heard that your whole life flashes before your eyes seconds before you die. Well, in my case, my whole life flashes before my eyes when I TRAVEL."

Apr. 14, ‘07 "do not judge me according to your ignorance"

Apr. 02, ‘07  "breath-in LIFE!!! Spew everything else whatsoever…"

Feb. 14, ‘07: "…tahimik… nagmamatyag… parang ibon sa parang… sa mahinahong pagdaan ng uod…"

Random                       thoughts                                       that

                  came                   passed

                               my                         mind

Like       a                           wind           that

                        awaketh                                       a            

       recede leaf

Or                                     a                shore                    disturb

                by            the                           tide

Random                   thoughts         of days

              that gone           and                                            of

                                 beautiful

       musings            of                            what         is                         to come

Trying deep                    to                   bait

                  what                                                   it

                                   meant

If not                                      gaze

                at

                                   its                            stare

But                            what                                                could

            a                                   lowly                           do?

I                   was                 just

           a                 leaf                  on             a

                  branch

… a                       sand

              on

                               the

                                                  shore…

So, New Year it is! While the rest of the kalibuts is either on their deep slumber, tired of last night’s, or munching what has left of last night’s, we are here in this desk getting on the call of duty. Wheew! What a nice way to start a new year; slept late and woke up early. I had a good New Year’s eve though. I was on top of the world feasting my eyes over the panoramic view of fireworks display in various colors. I couldn’t help it but shout as if the fixated child in me was so exhilerated by the sight ony new year’s eve could offer.

T’was a simple deliverance  from a that was to the year that is.  I couldn’t make a resolution for this year. It is really hard if the battle is against oneself. Yeah, I have been battling over me and myself during the last year, with all my pretension that I was brave enough to get it over. But then, I was slammed in my den for times countless, embracing myself in my solitary confinement, promising not to be in such a way again, only to wake up doing the same thing. This time, I knew better. True enough that for countless people that surrounds you and for all who claim your friends and whom you claim yours, it is still the SELF that minds it all. No matter, let it resound I LOVE MYSELF!!! Gonna get it on….

Tulad ng usok sa papaubos ko ng sigarilyo

Tulad ng walng direksyong tagaktak ng ulan

Tulad ng walang pakundangang trapik sa Edsa

Tulad ng mga gunita na nagsusumiksik sa masikip ko nang balintataw

Tulad ng mga di ko mawaring pangyayari

Tara na… sama ka…

Minsan masarap magpakabaliw!!!

Sa bawat tagaktak ng ulan,

namimilipit ang mga langgam sa lamig,

nagkakagulo ang mga tutubi upang sumilong,

ngunit nagtatawanan ang mga tuyot na damo,

sumasayaw ang mga dahon,

at nagpifiesta ang tigang na lupa.

Ripples. I can’t stand the tide.

Breeze. Enough with the strong wind.

Shower. I’m done with hard rain.

Whisper. Fed up with noise.

Understanding.  I’ve had disputes.

Arms outstretch.

Stand on the meadow.

Great view.

Assert freedom.

Assert existence.

Tomorrow, if today can’t give it up.

I promise, next time it’ll be greater.

Me. Not just parts of me.

I dont want " " they say a lot.

I dont want , they aren’t direct

I don’t want - it confuses me

I dont want . it ends it all

I dont … deep and mysterious

I saw myself in anguish

Throwing words of regret

Complaining things I beset

Being in a worst situation

And that was early morning.

Then I went out to see the sun

Children in tattered clothes

Women  are busy

Dogs in stray

Sky is blue

Grasses green

Then i threw another question

but this time it’s sweeter.

Start with the bad news first…. I am jobless now…hehehe… My long delayed plan to resign take its full realization last week… that before the company would ask me to…laughs… so now I am languering around like a lion looking for a lamb to devour. Applications are pending so I might now enjoy bumming…

Second, my cellphone got stolen. Yeah, I am again a victim of cellphone theivery (if there is such a word). And I hate the way it was stolen for it was there in my front. My beloved CP doesn’t deserve what happened to it. I was with Daive surfing on the net, of course jobstreet… until I am very much consume infront of my screen that I took no notice of my phone… I only does when I realize I’ve been there for couple of hours… and to my horror, my cellphone is no longer there… minimiscol at "the subscriber cannot be reach, please try your call later na…" xempre nakaalis na ung katabi ko kani-kanina lang…xempre nagulat at muntik maiyak. Mdjo galit. mdjo napatanga ng kunti… mdjo sinabi maski yung sim nalang yung ibalik (though I really meant I want the whole of my cellphone back… sino bang hindi…) At xempre, dinepeciate ung value ng cellphone… ranging from it has been with me for more than a year, that it hangs when overload with messages, that it gets low-bat a bit faster… and many more… para hindi manghinayang at sabihing okay lang masi hindi namn talaga…nakakpanghinayang parin… nawalan ng cellphone… huhuhu…

Now the good news… wala pa akong trabaho no… pro may bagong cellphone… yehey… somebody acted as a good samaritan (in the person of Shamaine) donated one of her cellphones… Straight from Bacolod, it arrived just this morning… so as soon as I can get contact with the people concerned (I still have to sort out the numbers), I’ll be back in the wired world… ito ung bagong number ko: 0920-242-6952… so text me up… at pakilala kau ha…