Today marked my 2nd week since I went home for my,
how would I call it – I don’t want it to be called ‘vacation’ for that
would be underestimation and ‘respite’ is such an overused word here.
Perhaps, as my mind drifts t the same time, basks on my moments back
there, carefree, at home; I am yet to find an exact word to construe my
grand days back home. I don’t have to pin point the changes for there
have been many, I cannot muster. It’s just two weeks but spending it
with my family and my friends/cousins has a lifetime effect worthy
enough for a melodramatic me to dig over and over again.
I
should not forget May 22 to June 6, and the year is 2008 - where every
minute feels every bit special. Blame it to my yearly-only moments at
home. I had to seize my days and every second of those days – although
it involves a good share of dozing off to sleep (my sister commented I
am, as always, ‘takaw tulog’). I saw before my eyes how my nephew,
Kyle, started his first steps and plays that naked Barbie doll of my
niece (his cousin), Keumy, pulling the poor doll’s hands and slanting
the its legs. Anyway, he has done that innocently, it’s only us who
attributed anything green on it. He’ll be one year old come July and it
prides me to note that he has some of my features. Keumy too, has grown
a lot taller at 5, although she’s still the pampered, stubborn little
fellow who share her moments of scolding at times. See, she will grow
up to be a beautiful lady. She looks fabulous with whatever dress you
put her on. Inday Keling, our youngest, still fits that description –
youngest of the family. She’s Grade 6 by now at only 10, and whew! How
childish the way she conducts her ways – splintered with wits that puts
us to hearty laughs. Margie is there, a young mother of Kyle at 19. I
can see beyond her silence, laughter, and getting-along-with, the hopes
of a single mother who wants to give her bests and all superlatives to
her son. Only that by now, she can keep bests at bay – anyway, who am I
to measure what is and not best for them? And of course, there’s my
only blood brother, another nipped bud, a lad called to mature
suddenly. Full of exuberance and the energy of a youth at 18, he’s an
anxious, expectant father. He got married that young; so much to
explore, to much to discover. His wife, Mally, a responsible and
thoughtful lady and never forgets to ask how I am whenever she has a
load, is also apprehensive of her new role – a soon-to-be young mother
at 20 and a wife to my younger brother. See that, these are all bits of
changes, drastic changes to my family.
Then there are my parents. I
f hear for Mama because she gets angry easily over petty things. It
seems she’s hurdling with the world for anything that is inconvenient;
she’s always at bay to say something of it – in a loud, thundering
voice. Spare the complaints of our neighbors. But hey, she’s always
busy. As if filling those years of her inactivity where we, the
children, do things what she’s suppose to do. Gets up first in the
morning, do kitchen chores, tends the goat, feeds the pigs and rabbits
(oh, we have rabbits now), and fetches water from a nearby spring for
our fresh drink for the day. I only wish she’ll shred some of her
weighs (and give it to me) and minimize those unnecessary anger that is
always unhealthy. Certainly, there’s my father who have grown
complacent after all those years of toil and foil. He boasts his being
younger-than-his-age appeal: learns how to drive our motorcycle, joins
drinking sessions with us, plays with his grandchildren, and oh, he’s
got no white hairs.
They are my family
(part of my). They have been my source of strength through all these
years inasmuch as they are my primary source of weakness. They are such
a blessing to me in the same way as they are my yoke. They are my
source of pride, and my greatest downfall. (By now, I am on the verge
of putting it all unto myself. Not resting my happiness or sadness to
some other things and people outside myself. In that way, I can be sure
I can always handle. Of course, I dream, as Boulevard of Broken Dreams
would say, "Someone out there will find me". Be it my God or that woman
who will change the course of my life forever. But yeah, ‘til then, I
can do it by myself.).
And then, how
could I not include the moments I shared with my friends and cousins up
to the nth degree… those pangawang (pano), pamutong (lamaw), ligo
Lumanoy, those nightly drinking session, and that live band the night
of Mundicks’ wedding. Wheew! I so enjoy my moments there….
Godfather
would say, ‘you can never be a real man unless you spend time with you
family.’ Even without him saying that, spending time with your loved
ones, are always special.
