Just… in any case…
I just thought of dropping by here and dropping my thoughts… I am but a crazy fool to be wala lang… feeling as if nothing goes on with life… where in fact everything goes on….
i am but a ball of strength… strong enough to contained another that of fear and inhibitions… but who am i to be taken noticed of…. the world spins… it doesn’t stop for my grief… i can’t even grieve… or show the lavish of my emotions… i have the whole world as my home… i can go by my days in bed shorts and sleeveless while walking along the lucrative malls you’ll ever know…haha… that’s how "at home" i am in this cosmos of ours… with all it’s burgeons… but the world is yet to claim me as his son… my contribution and presence is yet to be noticed….
I want to burst with all my fury… I want to share it with all of humanity… I want a life that truly lives… as humans are capable to… I want to make adifference… I have to… but as if they don’t deserve to received my doings…
My burning enthusiasm for life is killed in this desk… by the thought of so many thoughts of long ago and tomorrow… it squawk with the voices long overdue… they must be heard… but it seems no one has the bionic ear to hear… or they just choose not to listen….
Someday you will see my brilliance. I promised to the world that I will be of his service… nay for the longings and alienation, nay the scathes of today… of open wounds that refused to be healed, nay for those who mock my face as if I am a stinking corpse of a veteran warrior.
Someday the world will claim me to be his. And I will be welcome with warm embraces… someday I will finish my niche and taste the comfort of a home… someday i will truly be happy…
Since there are "for nows," and "as of the moments," and the word "wait" is defined in the dictionary, have me the meaning of it… Others might not noticed that they aren’t void of meaning.
Wheew!
May 06, 2006 (workdesk)
June 13th, 2006 at 7:41 pm
nung huling summer na magkasama kami nina bestie tsarslpol at jill may napanood kaming movie sa bahay nina willaine… nakalimutan ko na yun title basta pangalan ng babae yun e tas si judy ann ang bida. nagalit ako sa ending kasi parang walang kwenta tas sabi ni tsarslpol meron daw talagang ganun. meron pa xang binanggit na philosopher writer… hmmm… si kafka yata. sabi nya basahin ko pero hanggang ngaun di ko pa nabasa…
ang punto ko, maaaring meron talagang ganun. yun mga desisyon nating parang walang kwenta…
kaya pag nagugulumihan ka sa mga nararamdaman mo… humanap ka ng kausap… yung tao. yung kaibigan. wag yung parisukat na maliwanag tulad ng madalas mong kaharap pag nasesenti ka. makakatulong na source of resilience ang computer pero pag wala ka nang pangrenta… iiwan ka na lang rin nyang basta.
ung contention ko noon sa tanong ng prof kung bakit sa highly urbanized/ industrialized countries lang patok ang kurso ko:
this world needs friends, not psychiatrists… hahaha… di ko naman sinagot o dinepensahan ang tanong pero natuwa ako sa nasabi/ naisip ko. hindi kailangan ng mga katulad kong may degree sa pag-aaral ng pasikut-sikot at komplikasyon ng human behavior… kaibigan lang. kausap.
PS: panoorin mo rin yung movie at i-avail ang wisdom ni tsarslpol afterwards